Saturday, 29 July 2017


John 10:10b I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

"I understood and surrendered to what God had said about obedience, even patience, but I missed what he said about my happiness. In my mind, real joy always laid somewhere on the far side of matrimony. I just had to be willing to wait.
But no one in Christ ever has to wait for joy. We may have to wait for a husband or a wife, or for a job, or for physical healing or relief, or for reconciliation with family members or friends. We may have to wait for all those things and a thousand more — with no guarantee that any of those things will ever come to us in this life. But the sinless Son of God bled and died to ensure that you and I never have to wait for happiness."              (Marshall Seagal, The most satisfying single years)

Marriage and any committed relationship heading there requires a lot of time, effort and sacrifice. Romantic relationships take up a lot of space because we are required to build enough trust in two years or less for a commitment that may last fifty years or more. Then there's the delicate matter of figuring out how to be dependent and independent at the same time. Mathematically alone, it sounds terribly consuming and maybe a little nuts.

Being single may mean that the time, mental strength and emotions that you would have been investing in these things goes largely unspent or misspent. Misspent in daydreaming about the perfect partner and feeling miserable later when you wake up to no cute texts or plotless weekends. Misspent in pursuing dead end flirtationships, situationships or struggling to climb out of one friendzone or five. You know you're better than this, right? So these 11 things are for you.

1. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' Mat 22:37.

If people put in half the strength, heart and overthinking they put into men or women in pursuit of Heavenly things, we would never mention the word lukewarm in church again. Your relationship with God is the most important one you have. It is one that is completely unconditional, completely accepting, completely transforming, redemptive, eternal and sacrificial.

Not having a person who "totally gets you" and is "all about you" makes you realize that you have something better, Jesus. Fix your eyes on Him. You have the chance to give Him your undivided devotion. Figure Him out. With God, the deeper you go, the better it gets.

You have a beautiful relationship that you disdain and overlook because you listened to too much RnB and not enough Psalms.

2.Read the Bible.

We've talked about this. Like newborn babes, long for the pure milk of the word, that by it you may grow in respect to salvation. 1 Peter 2:2. Spend your time in the word. You should be delighted that your weekends are free. It is time to take the Bible, a  pen and paper and dig in. Decide to spend your time in the word and not in the world.

3. Serve others.

Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant,  and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. Mark 10;43-45.

Love, the Christian mandate. Love others with your actions. Set aside time and serve others. An idle mind is the devil's work shop.

Do not stay alone in your room wasting time and bundles stalking your ex or your crush. Get up, the world need its Superhero and He chose to work through you.

Volunteer in charitable organizations, serve in church ministry or even babysit for your aunt. Seek to pour into others.

4. Build strong non romantic relationships.

This means staying in touch with your parents for more than just pocket money and being ready to invest in that messy relationship with your headstrong ungrateful sibling. It means being there for people you call friends, and it means loving them unconditionally even when they are difficult.

5. Mentor young Christians.

You know how hard it is to approach someone and ask them to be your mentor, well there are fifteen and sixteen year olds who would like to be mentored and feel that way, reach out to them. Lead a Bible study in a local schools Christian Union. Take your cousin or sibling out for lunch and just talk to them about God. You will learn so much too.

6. Go on missions.

I say this over and over again, as a Christian your primary role is to get the word out there. You cannot sit idly by as other people perish. As a single person there is no excuse, take some time off and live out Matt 28:19-20.

Go to far places or stay within your locality, but whatever you do, let the world know of our beautiful Savior.

7. Let go and let go, your sexuality.

The toughest part as you get older and are still single, is probably purity. You need to surrender this part of your life to God and just decide that you will obey Him no matter how tough it gets. Rely on the Holy Spirit, search scripture and lean on accountability partners.

You cannot say that you will suddenly learn to control your sexual desire when you get married. Staying faithful to the same person all your life may not be any easier than not acting on sexual attraction as a single person. The concept is the same, I want to, but I won't because of my commitment to God and to he other person.

8. Develop qualities that you would like in a partner.

Christ teaches us that blessed is the hand that gives than the hand that receives. Be open to the Holy Spirit making you kind, patient, forgiving, selfless and more and more like Christ.

9. Focus on your God given skills, talents and abilities and use them for His glory.

You don't want to be sixty years old and regret never writing that book, never starting that business or going on tour with your little choir.
Get better at what you do, be the best at it if you can, and use it to serve the Lord. Be passionate, work on something with vision and purpose.

10. Be adventurous.

Travel if you can, plan a trip with your friends and live out your youth freely but with caution. Meet new people and get to know them. Put your phone aside for a minute and take in the beauty that is the creation of God. Learn a new skill like cooking Nigerian food, or how to write music, learn a foreign language, panda SGR, go to Christian concerts, go on a mission trip abroad. Do something, small or big, to remember this time by. And through it all, share it with your ever present Companion.

11. If you desire to be married, then get ready for it even as you wait.

Pray about it with an open heart knowing that God's timing is the best and that His will is perfect and good. Read about marriage, from scripture, and other books. Try to get an understanding of this thing that you long for so much. Learn from married couples around you and just try to soak in as much useful information as you can get. I hear that marriage is not all procreation and sunshine.

Truly live out this season of your life. Don't waste it, once you get married, that's it, no reset button. Take this time, just you and God, get closer, do great things together.

Saturday, 22 July 2017


Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

I am a Christian. A follower of Jesus Christ. I believe that His teaching is true and authoritative. I hold fast to it as it is. I am not sorry for any part of it that is unpopular or difficult.

So yes, I believe abortion is wrong and I expect that if I get married, it'll be to a man who loves me selflessly and I intend to submit to his authority. Unpopular but it is what it is.

I am not a Christian apologist (in this context). Some people have done terrible things in the name of Christianity. Topping the list is slavery and the crusades. Then there's racism, misogyny and sexism, homophobic attacks, xenophobia and the list just goes on. Some have used Christianity to keep the masses oppressed like during colonisation. There's also refusing vaccines and medicine and letting people and children die. Finally, there's the allegations against the likes of  Kanyari, Deya, Wanjiru, Ng'ang'a, Kiuna and friends.

I neither endorse nor subscribe to any of these just because of the "Christian" connotation affixed to them. Therefore I cannot be ashamed to be a Christian because of the dark shadows cast upon the Faith by them. I mean, come on, I have health insurance, Lol.

I am a feminist. I believe in the advocacy of women's social, political and economic rights based on equality of the sexes. I do not think that I am inferior to a man. I do not think that I am superior to a man.

I am not sorry that gender equality will tear down the walls of privilege and force you to earn your place at the table. That we have to actually compete fairly for jobs and for spots in academia or politics. That we have to work together. That my input matters as much as yours.

Should I really feel bad that society has to acknowledge that I am not just pretty and hospitable. That indeed I can read and write too. That I am just as good in math and science. That I cook and clean, not because my place is in the kitchen, but because I like how I cook and I don't like dirt.

I am not a feminist apologist. Some people have done terrible things in the name of feminism. They have supported abortion, advocated for flagrant sexuality, have pretended that women are better than men, have devalued the right of choice and importance of the stay at home mom, have dismissed God's design of equal but different genders.

I neither endorse nor subscribe to these lines of thinking merely because they purport to be "truly feminist". Therefore I am not ashamed to say that I am a feminist because you cannot tell that the same biased generalisation the world has given to Christians, Christians are giving to feminists.

One day, in 2014, someone spanked my behind in public and nobody said anything. I turned around to confront him but he was too big so I walked away, as fast as I could. Feeling what he should have been feeling, embarrassed. Another day in 2017, I saw someone pinching a girl's behind in public. Not caring about how big he was, I hit his hand with the bag I was carrying and asked, "what are you doing?". I am a feminist because public spankings and pinches are the least of my worries as a woman. They don't even begin to scratch the surface of what we have endured, and are expected to endure repeatedly.

Remember women can now vote, get educated, get meaningful jobs because of hard headed, societal outcasts who refused to stay silent just because they were women. And one day, my daughter or her daughter will not walk around in fear of rape or sexual harassment because I choose to join the hard headed, societal outcasts.

Christians are flawed, we admit it and therefore Christianity as an idea after two millenniums, is only getting more and more controversial. Show some grace to feminism, it's only been a couple of decades.

And to the feminist, you cannot blame chauvinism on Christianity. If anything, Jesus made way for women to be treated as people. The problem is that we, as people are fallen. Secondly, you cannot belittle and condemn my stance on marriage and abortion as less feminist, if anything, feminism gives me the right of choice, I choose life, I choose submission. As Chimammanda says, there is enough room for all types of feminism. Let's not act like it's a one size fits all straight jacket.

I am a Christian and I am a feminist. Neither which is easy. I often have to defend both. I will explain, I will accept to be challenged, but with all due respect and with the utmost humility I'm sorry, I really am not sorry to be both.

Grace and peace people.

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Do not bear a grudge, Make disciples of all nations and Rejoice in the Lord Always.

Lev 19:17-18 "'Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

Human relationships are messy. I am not even qualified to give advise on how you should treat others, because I fail at it constantly. I literally spend more time with technology and books than people because I can't offend videos or books. Also because I can't block, delete or unsubscribe from people.

However God wants us to love one another. To live together. He created us with a need for community. In this community, no matter how hard you try, even with the best intentions you will hurt people and people will most certainly hurt you at some point.

What I love most about this passage is that it focuses on what we should do when we are offended, not what to expect from the offender. Because honestly, we have no control over them and also, we are entitled to nothing.

So forgive, forget, give correction, turn the other cheek, let life go on, repeat. Remember this (Pro 12:16) A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

Mat 28:19-20 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

This is the great command. Not the great suggestion. You need to get involved in spreading the word of God. 

A friend of mine once gave me this analogy. If you saw someone dying of hunger, you would feel sorry for them and give them food. But how is it that we see people perishing in sin, knowing that without salvation they are going to certainly suffer in hell for all eternity and not feel anything? Aren't we concern about this? About this great thing they are missing out on?

Jesus found people to find others. Join the movement, spread the Word. If you're shy or you just don't know how to start, where to start from, just ask. There's a lot of articles, books, videos and other Christians with good advice.

Hab 3:17-18 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Incidentally I had this conversation with one of my friends as recently as yesterday. Be patient dear Christian. Wait on the Lord, be strong, take heart and wait for the Lord.

While you wait, praise Him, serve Him. Be grateful for what you have right now for godliness with contentment is great gain.

And always remember that Jesus is the prize. If you never get anything else, if you don't get a good job, a husband, or fame, if your legs never get to work again, that's nothing compared to what you already have, Jesus. 

We don't get saved for the promise of things, or for our problems to go away. Read the book of Acts, your expectations for salvation will change drastically.

We are pilgrims on earth. We cannot set shop and get comfortable. And in the midst of terrible times, our hope is in Christ and in the life to come.


Thank you guys so much for reading and for your feedback. I love you all. Until next week: grace and peace!

Saturday, 8 July 2017

Jesus Isn't Hiring by Chelagat Shama

“Six days later, three of them did see it. Jesus took Peter, James, and John and led them up a high mountain. His appearance changed from the inside out, right before their eyes. His clothes shimmered, glistening white, whiter than any bleach could make them. Elijah, along with Moses, came into view, in deep conversation with Jesus.

5-6 Peter interrupted, “Rabbi, this is a great moment! Let’s build three memorials—one for you, one for Moses, one for Elijah.” He blurted this out without thinking, stunned as they all were by what they were seeing.

7 Just then a light-radiant cloud enveloped them, and from deep in the cloud, a voice: “This is my Son, marked by my love. Listen to him.”

8 The next minute the disciples were looking around, rubbing their eyes, seeing nothing but Jesus, only Jesus.” -Mark 9:2-8

Typical Peter, wanting to impress Jesus just like I struggle every day at my work place to impress my boss. (If you don’t get the reference, you’re clearly more productive with your time, and for that, I salute you.) I’ve read the Bible. This should come as a relief to most of you, judging by the contents of this article. Or maybe, I am just making all of this up as I go along, which, let’s be honest, is a much more believable tale.

Every year I try and read through the Bible in order to uncover more and more mysteries buried in this love story. But the first time I started reading the Bible I had a reading plan. And I loved it. Checking off the little boxes of books I’d read, seeing my percentage read go up every day…ahhh every believers dream. And each night I had this blissful alone time with Jesus where I would read and study, and block out anyone who tried to interrupt my Jesus time.


I soon began to see my devotion time as homework time. No one could bother me while I was studying the Bible. HOW DARE THEY! But while I was too focused on checking off boxes, I missed certain trials going on around me. People in my life needed me and when they saw how arduous and exclusive reading the Bible was, Christianity looked a lot like a college course with lots of homework. I wasn’t taking the time to sit still with Jesus and simply be in awe of him. I wasn’t allowing myself to be stress free. I was making the Bible stressful.

Jesus doesn’t need to see our homework. He doesn’t require us to read a specific amount of The Word every day, or that we pray a certain amount of time. Jesus is not hiring an intern or looking for Bethlehem’s Next Top Model.

If we can stop “building memorials” and simply stare in awestruck wonder of Jesus, we will allow room for peace in our lives, and in turn, bring peace to others. No need to impress Jesus with our human efforts when He has already saved us from our human mistakes. So stop making salvation look so hard because once you have been transformed into the image of God, you become more like Christ, but you also become more of the “you” He made you to be. Be real

Friday, 30 June 2017

Be Still by Eddah


It is one thing to know this scripture and it is another thing to live it. Many a times we are able to quote and  sing but when it comes to real life practice it takes the hand of GOD to live it.

Life is full of storms whether internal or external. Our Spirit is always in battle with the flesh. Unless the Spirit is stronger our flesh usually pushes the button of our senses forward. Everything we see, feel, touch, hear and smell. A strong spirit pushes the button of faith harder(READ GALATIANS :17).

In our own lives what do we do when GOD tells us or promises us something that doesn’t make sense to our carnal mind? What do you do when all the odds are against you yet GOD is calling on you to be still and know He is God.

Probably you feel so overstretched in that job, relationship or financially and life is offering you opportunities that are some what good but not Godly.

You are at a point in your relationship where you either compromise for the other person or let go and let God? Your peers are engaged or married but you don’t even have somebody. Your classmates have "good jobs" while you have never even been to an interview?



How many of us give up in waiting just hours, days or at times try to fix things ourselves rather than wait on GOD. Probably if you have been a victim of trying to fix yourself, you can attest of how overwhelming it can be, you invested so much time, energy, emotion on the thing but instead you still lost. You invested so much in that relationship but all it bore is heart break, stomach ulcer, some of us even ended up being suicidal.

I therefore pray that GOD will give  us a WORD that will create in us a faith to trust HIM and wait on HIM.

For faith comes by hearing and hearing the WORD OF GOD. May GOD help us to be cheerful in our waiting,that we would stop attempting our way but let GOD perfect His will. I  have friends who sincerely waited on GOD like the case of marriage and are so happily married. Some got married at 22 some at 46years but the core thing is the allowed GOD to work in them.



A note from Stacy,

I love Edah's writing. It's just so practical and real. I'm more of a general principles girl but Edah gets down to the nitty gritties.

Anyway thank you guys so much. Last week was just amazing. High Five was more than a success and I learnt so much from you. Have a great week ahead. Make Jesus proud.

Saturday, 24 June 2017

High Five (Bible Edition)

Every week we have amazing writers or myself contributing to Unbridled. However this week, I'm posing a challenge to our readers. We want to know about your experience reading the Bible, so I came up with a little Q&A to facilitate it. I'm calling it the High Five.

I know it's not what you're used to. I'm hoping it's as exciting for you as it is for me.

The rules are pretty simple. There are 5 question. You can answer all or some of them in the comments section below. You can literally talk about anything about the Bible, it doesn't have to be in the questions. You can ask new questions. You can share your Bible reading challenges or triumphs. :)


Here is my High Five (now that I think about it, High Five isn't a very unlame title, lol).

Hadassah (I lost somebody right here, Google) she is bold, courageous, powerful and still humble and God fearing.

Matthew 28:20 I will be with you to the end of age. The entire Psalm 27 The Lord is my light and my salvation... of whom shall I be afraid? 

I had a terrible night mare the other day. I live alone in our house on weekdays. So I had a dream that something, like a man but not quite was suffocating me. I woke up, shaking, prayed, read Matt 29:20 and put my Bible app (my hardcopy was all the way in another room) on the lowest brightness and 'don't sleep mode' and slept with it on Psalm 3. I know the last part is silly but I slept like a baby after that. With the knowledge that I am untouchable when Jesus is watching over me.


In exodus when the Israelites ask Moses, "were there no tombs in Egypt?" whenever they face trials? (Hebrew sacarsm just gets me). Or when Ahab disguises himself as a commoner to avoid being killed in battle, then a random arrow hits him... you cannot escape God. Oh wait, there's also "you foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you..." When Jesus tells the disciples that Lazarus has "fallen asleep" let's go wake him up, and they say, if he's asleep, he'll get better quicker. I can't pick.


In the evening when I have nowhere to rush to. I can just sit with my notebook and Bible and enjoy for long periods without worrying about time. I would rather mornings when my mind is clear but that isn't always convenient because of time.


Matthew 8:1-3. He is able. And above all, WILLING.


I'm hoping to hear from all of you. Let's talk about the Bible. Answer a question or five in the comments section below.

If you get a technical problem with leaving a comment, go to the bottom of the page and click on "view web version." Then try to leave your comment in the web version. If that fails, catch me on Facebook (Stacy Muya), email ( or Whatsapp (only for those who have my number already, hehe) and I'll be posting your High Five here all through the week.

Thank you so much for being the bestestestestes.
Grace and peace.

Saturday, 17 June 2017

More On Why You Should Read The Bible And Practical Tips For Every Beginner (and Veteran) by Stacy

Imagine a friend who you knew as well as you know yourself. After spending all your time together through the years you got to know everything about them. Their deepest secrets, their highest highs and every rock bottom they ever hit.

A friend who has you on speed dial because of how dependable you are. You know what they want, but better yet you understand what they need. Basically a best friend.

But imagine this. This is the type of friend who will never forget your birthday because they never knew it to begin with. The kind of friend who has never bothered to learn anything about you. Not your middle name, not where you're from, not your disposition, not even your likes or dislikes.

They hang around you, they run to you for help, they open up to you but they never let you put a word in. They just aren't that interested in you as much as they are in the things you represent, constant love and support.

In short, the relationship is terribly uneven. If there's something that just sucks it's non reciprocation. Like, I know love can't be 50/50 but 98/2 is just painful. Some people will never value you as much as you value them, and that's okay, but sometimes there's just people (especially family) who at the end of the day, you just feel exploited by.

Our relationship with God cannot be described with words like reciprocation or exploitation because it is uneven, designed for our total dependency to be on Him. Neither can we ever love God as much as He loves us. He is love itself. It would be like trying to swim faster than a fish. Running faster than a cheater. Not that it should ever stopped us from swimming fast, or loving Him.

Reading the Bible isn't just for the benefit of shaping your world view as I wrote last week. But even more importantly, reading the Bible, is for getting to know the God we love. For ourselves. To build a relationship reinforced by our deep knowledge of Him.

We cannot make it even, but we can love Him with all the capacity we have, little though it may be.

We can love Him with all our mind: (Joshua 1:8) read the Word, keep it on your lips, keep it in your mind, day and night.

With all our heart: (Psalms 119:14) not just to read it, to delight in it. To feel excited and giddy like a first date. It is like reading a letter. Like getting that lengthy caption on your birthday or a long emotional text in the middle of the night. It is heartwarming stuff y'all.

With all our soul: (Matt 4:4) To yearn for it. To be unsettled when you don't read it. Not out of guilt because you've broken routine, but out of your need for it. To realize that the Word of God is life. To tap into the streams of living waters.

With all our strength: to devote ourselves to it. To wake up as early as David or stay up late reading, meditating and go out of our way to Do the word (Matt 7:24,25), even when His teaching is difficult, unsettling and throws us way out of our comfort zone.

So here's a few practical insights on reading the Bible.


Pray to God to open up your heart to His word. To give you a hunger to know Him and a resilience to keep going. Invite Him to be part of it, that you may see Him in every scripture, that His joy will fill your heart when reading instead of it being a painstaking chore. That the Holy Spirit will walk you through each verse and still show you the bigger picture.

Pray before reading and pray all the time too. You could even fast as you pray for this. It isn't easy to stay consistently reading your Bible. You need all the Spiritual help you can get. So pray.

2. Consistency is key, but if you fail one day, don't beat yourself up. Make a plan for the next day. Get right back to it. Don't wallow in guilt, make deliberate changes.

3. To help with consistency, set a time and place. You don't want to make this decision every day, you'll end up never deciding some days. Set a time according to your schedule.

4. Start comfortable, something you're sure to keep up. It is better to have 15 minutes every day and love it other than plan for an hour and fail or feel burdened. The plan is to delight in the word, not labour under it.

If you get to the point of struggling, STOP, remember why you're doing it and make an appropriate plan. I5 minutes per day is about 90 hours in a year. Start comfortable, then make your way up.

Hope you found Part 2 helpful guys. I'm learning so much about the Bible and about reading it. This series is growing me too. It has sent me to research, and I've been truly blessed this past week. I'm sorry I can't really fit everything in these posts. At the end of the series I'll make you guys a list of all the resources I've been tapping into. I hope you're all doing your own digging as well.


Thank you Sharon, Violet, Linda and Irene for your comments last week. Thank you Fin for calling. Thank you Mom, Kevin, Mush, Dvoice, Paul, Enoch, Nelson, Atera, Paula, Eda, Rachel, Aunty Linet, Masai, Malkia and the entire KUSOL CU. Thank you Peter Ishe and Nkem. Cynthia Nyakara, I'm so grateful. Thank you to everyone. I am literally overwhelmed with the response each week. I can't believe you guys are still reading this stuff. Thank you eeeeevvvvrrryone. If I haven't mentioned you, please scold me. I really really love all you guys.

See you next week with Part 3. If you haven't, check out Part 1 from last week.

Be light. Be salt and make Jesus proud!